The Legacy of the Worldwide Church of God

Pat Robertson speaks.....is anyboy listening?

2005-08-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I just had to bring the blog up for this one.

Evidently Pat Robertson has expressed the opinion that Venenzuelan leader Chavez should be assainated to save the U.S. money in a future war. Good grief. Maybe Chavez is a bad guy. Maybe he is in bed with terrorists and communists. But Pat you're a religious leader arent you? Where are your ethics? Why are YOU sticking your nose in politics and preaching murder instead of being a righteous, loving, giving, Christian? If you are preaching murder.....you sound more like a sinner than a religious man. Just another example of the hypocrisy of some of our more religious leaders.

The heart of the matter

2005-08-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

Ive been thinking about reasons why we, as individuals, become so impassioned for causes. What are we seeking? What are we needing? What is the heart of what drives us?

For some I guess it may be vengence for concieved wrongs. For others to help others so they are not hurt. For others to feel better about themselves.

For me, I know, I have felt the need to tell my story. For people to know what has hurt me and how I have coped and started to move on. But I guess at the base of all that it is just the need to feel safe and loved and worth something.

If you think about it as I child that is all we needed. To feel safe, loved, and important to someone. And as a child when you dont have that you start learning ways to cope in a world that doesnt offer you those benefits. But all in all isnt that what we need as humans to survive. To feel safe, loved, and important to someone.

I think when things work against those basic principles of feeling safe, loved and important, than we are causing harm. And that harm comes in many forms. Be it religion or any other thing that takes away our capacity to care for other humans. It is the true acts of unconditional kindness and nonjudgement that allow us to carry on the human race instead of destroying it. If we could work towards making others feel safe, and loved, and valued maybe the world would be a better place.

Overcoming the fear of religious zealots

2005-07-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

I havent quite gotten over my immediate adversion to pushy religious people. My in laws favorite past time is to harrass me about going to church. I wonder why some people feel it is their need to save me? And its almost not that they are concerned about me really. It seems more so that their pushiness stems from wanting to make themselves feel better. Or make themselves look like the more worthy person.

After being raised in a destructive religious organization, Ive found its hard to trust anyone telling me what I need to do to be religiously acceptable. Who gives another person that right? Wouldnt it be so much better if people just put action into their hearts and give of themseleves to others instead of spewing the need to convert and control them. I guess I should consider myself blessed that I dont live in a country that controls our religious beliefs through violence and war but isnt the need for some organizations to control our minds and our wallets just another rung on that ladder? I wish I could get over the feeling of distrusting people that get on a soapbox about pushing their religion on me but I cant. Theres just something scary about it.

Apocalypse Now or How?

2005-07-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

I havent posted in awhile. Just been busy but I dont want this blog to die because I think its important for people to realize how they can be taken advantage of by bad religious organizations. Religion is a powerful persuader. Everyone wants to believe in meaning and purpose. I know I do. I hope there is a meaning and purpose to this life. I hope there are some answers to all the questions I have. I am resolved that no earthly being knows any of these answers and if anyone tries to tell me they do than Id probably tell them they are full of it. Im comforted in the fact that I try to be the best person I can, work on being a giver and I am comfortable to be able to admit I just dont know what life after death holds for anyone.

Its taken me a long time to come to this conclusion.

My mother is still convinced the world is headed toward an apoplytic disaster and soon. I think she still believes all the things the cult told us although she has worked it all up into her version. I dont like world events either but all the people that are so anxious for the world to erupt into all the horrors of relevations, that sit back in judgement and persecution, are just as liable for the destruction as those they believe are instigating it. We catapult towards the horror on wings of stories told and manipulated by those wanting to control us and our environment. The other voices of reason, that wish to be free of hatred, of prejudice, that want good for all people, that just want to survive and prosper in peace, are merely unheard. We are all of the human race, its too bad we cant act like it.

I like what these people have to say....

2005-06-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

I just recently stumbled across the Universist Movement. While I havent had a chance to thoroughly read at their web site, I think I will like what they are about. Or should I say what they are not about. A Universist basically supports no religion allowing that individuals can choose, question, and reason for themselves and follow their own spiritual path without any organized religion. This makes sense to me. I can believe in God if I want to without other men telling me how to do it.

Heres their addy:

http://www.faithless.org

Of course while Im promoting websites, dont forget all my good pals that helped me through my cult experience at the painful truth:

http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com

and for all the good wwcg information and happenings at ambassador watch:

http://ambassadorwatch.co.nz/

Criminals have it made in religion. They can shmooze money, control people, and hide their vices behind a religious cloak to escape prosecution. Theres something wrong with that.

Learning how to express joy and celebrate

2005-06-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

Part of being a member of the Worldwide Church of God meant that you no longer celebrated worldly holidays like birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and many other average holidays. The church taught that these were pagan perversions of real holy days and self serving. But even the required church holy days were often somber affairs, subdued, and consisting of many hour long church services. I dont even really remember celebrating baby or wedding showers. There was only one holyday I can really remember as being joyful and fun and that was The Night to be Remembered where we gathered to have a fancy dinner and celebrate Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. But even that usually consisted of a somber ministerial lesson. The Feast of Tabernacles usually provided a few hours of fun after the church services but we were still instructed with church services and activities were monitored and church appropriate. Dancing was formal only and for all activities a subdued, grown up attitude was expected of even small children. I grew up not fully understanding the joy of celebrating.

My family also maintained a subdued/somber lifestyle. We rarely attended any community parties or functions. Home parties were non-existant outside of a rare bowl of icecream for a school achievement or picnic with grandparents or on occasion extended family members. By the time I graduated highschool I didnt even want the celebratory bowl of ice cream. It was wrong to have attention. When I left the church I had a hard time dealing with knowing how to celebrate. My first husbands mother floored me when she threw me my first surprise birthday party at 22 years old. Even now with children of my own Im sometimes embarrassed and afraid of throwing large celebrations. But why is this? Why did the church make me feel that celebrations were wrong?

Supposedly we were supposed to refain from vain things. We werent supposed to seek material pleasures. We were supposed to concentrate on being godly. Somber. Mature.

Then why did God give us the capability to laugh, and smile, hug and leap in joy? Why cant we celebrate the life God gave us? He gave us this life didnt he? We know that these are good things. What is more joyful than a childs laugh? Why cant we express our love in celebration? Why cant we give gifts in appreciation? Why cant we cherish the people we care about? Why cant we have fun and not feel guilty about it. Why cant we celebrate the joy of our families and living?

The answer is....WE CAN. I am just learning the true joy in that.

The fear of being unredeemable

2005-05-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps another one of my biggest fears about God that The Worldwide Church of God instilled in me is that if I knew and understood the truth as the WWCG saw it and then chose not to accept it, I would lose my eternal life. They considered this a deadly sin. To know the "truth" and to turn away from it. But doesnt every religion on the face of the earth teach, to an extent the same thing? They all want to be right. They all require submission to the church leadership.

Sometimes I still wonder if I am endangering my soul by not following a religion. But religion is basically all about having faith. And having faith is believing sight unseen what other men have taught us. And what if they arent teaching us right?

To me, my faith is believing there is a God. A God that is removed from the pettiness of this world. That remains unprejudiced against all people. That sees the good in people. That wants us to make the most of the life he gave us while we have it. That believes in love and compassion and forgiveness. I can have this faith without anyone telling me how I should be having it and what I should be doing to keep it. That is between me, my faith, and God.

Random thoughts on life post-cult

2005-05-24T05:02:00.000-07:00

Ive been thinking about how happy and at peace with life Ive been feeling lately. Im comfortable with the person I am now and wouldnt trade my current life for anyone elses lifestyle. Im not happy that most of my life revolved around a religion that was created by an advertising guru for his own personal gain but that is part of who I am and what Ive become.

I believe in God, a creator. I thank him for my blessed life. But I do not practice a religion mainly because I believe they are man-made. I do know that as humans there are things that are wrong. Envy, hate, prejudice, murder, greed, lies, selfishness, deception, are rampant in our world. But there is also good. Love, compassion, caring, comforting, giving, selflessness.

The religion I was taught by the Worldwide Church of God was prejudiced against others. Although there was some caring and compassion amoung the general members at times, there was not much from the leadership. In fact the leadership expected us to seperate ourselves from and shun non believers. We were to hate the worldliness of others outside our religion. When the church talked of "the end times" they often talked of how we should not look back like Lots wife. We should selfishly leave others behind because God would destroy them for being non-believers. The general membership of the Worldwide Church of God often struggled to survive financially while the leadership prospered generously. We were often told that the lavishness of the leadership was how they opened doors to leaders worldwide. That they had to represent God in grand form if they were to preach the gospel to others.

I may not have a religion scince I left my cult behind but I feel comforted to know I am not taking advantage of others. I dont hate others that are diffent than myself. I will not take anything that I havent earned myself. I try to be compassionate to all people and give something back to my community. I have left behind the shame and guilt that a cult instilled in my beliefs. I realize that anyone can call themselves christian like and godly but not many actually act for the betterment of others. I no longer believe any man-made religion can assure me of anything. I am at peace with that.

Have we sold out God for religion?

2005-05-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

As a child I was raised in what I deem to be a bad spiritual organization. (The Worldwide Church of God.)It was basically the only religion I have practiced and it has taken me many years to deal with the fall-out of the experience. Part of my dealing with being taken advantage of in the name of religion is studying everything I could get my hands on concerning religion and its origins. I was obsessed with finding out what religion, if any, was the right religion. The end result is that I havent found one. I often wonder if as humans, we have sold out God for religion.

Ive watched some interesting shows on the National Geographic channel concerning evolution and missing links. I still have a problem with evolution. It seems we are much too complex not to have been created by a God. But for practicalitys sake evolution of man seems plausible. But why was the practice of religion even first started? I can imagine some of the first men, without the knowledge that we have today being utterly terrified of natural disasters, animals, and other men as predators. Could their fears and the rituals that they began to perform to comfort and protect themselves be what originally started the "wheel" rolling on modern religion? Was it the fear of the unknown that created gods and demons and these rituals that we practice today?

It seems apparent much of religion first revolved around gods of nature and things that made early man prosper. But as man grew in knowledge religion became more complex. Controlling mans actions and setting up laws to govern became important. Managing the masses. And every group of people worldwide have developed their own traditions and religions to this day. But in our complexity we have become defenders of the religions at a cost to those that are different than us. Are we still that early man struggling with rituals of the unknown even though we have the intelligience to know what prejudice is and that hurting others is wrong? Are we so steeped into the practice of our religions and defending them against others we cant see that if we believe there is a God that he created us all? Not just a select few? Have we sold out God in honor of our religious tradition? I know my religious tradition was harmful and I no longer support it. I cant say that any religion is right or any religion is wrong. But I do wonder why God would go through the trouble of creating all of us to hate and murder each other. Or maybe we are the ones doing that....in the name of our religions.

What will I do in the Wonderful World Tomorrow?

2005-05-16T04:38:00.000-07:00

The Worldwide Church of God preached that Christ would return to the earth soon, destroy all unbelievers, and set up a new kingdom where all of us who qualified would reign with him. They painted a very rosy picture at times but often it seems through rose colored glasses. Probably the most often qouted bible verse for the world tomorrow was Isaiah 65 in which the ministers spoke of the blind seeing and God wiping away our tears. But what exactly was it that we would be doing for all eternity?

As a teenager in the church I think I was unsettled by the prospect of the tribulation the most. The ministers preached about this quite frequently. They often spoke of the "left behind" scenario. Where some would be taken to the place of safety while others would be left behind to suffer in the tribulation. One of our ministers in a sermon actually claimed that Herbert W. Armstrong might tell women to stop having children because the bible warns of the woe to come for women pregnant or nursing in the tribulation. It was hard for me to think this would be my future. No family or marriage. Leaving people I cared about behind. All to sit in the desert hideaway in Petra (the churches speculated place of safety) being controlled by the tyrannical ministers.

But to what end? Speculation was rampant. Supposedly we would become teachers to the wayward unbelievers and sit in Gods house on Earth with Christ as the head for a thousand years. But who would set next to Christ? Abraham? Adam? Could it be Paul? Or would it be Gods end time apostle Herbert W. Armstrong? HMMMM. So what would we be doing for 1000 years besides sitting in Gods house? And when does eternity start? Well thats where it gets interesting. First and foremost we are to be teachers of Gods laws and truths. So we get to be tyrannical ministers also? Well the men would but what was a woman supposed to do? We wouldnt be allowed to preach because that was a mans job. Were we supposed to teach how to be good wives and mothers? But are we mortals in the 1000 year reign or mini-gods? And if we are mini-gods then we arent going to be wives or mothers, right? So maybe Ill get to be the mini-god of teaching cooking. (With no lard or shellfish of course.) So Ill be teaching cooking for 1000 years and possibly eternity? But I thought the wonderful world tomorrow meant no more suffering?

Red Flag warnings you are involved in a cult.

2005-05-10T05:24:00.000-07:00

Red flag, Red flag!

While I was growing up in The Worldwide Church of God cult there were several things that I knew were a little fishy and still other things I should have seen as red warning flags but didnt. There are many anti-cult sites on the web. The Rick Ross Institute for instance is a popular one. But I try to keep this blog on my own personal experience and so just wanted to mention a couple of the red flags I should have taken heed of.

Red flag warning #1.

A good religious organization does not continually guilt its members into contributions nor require them to tithe to secure salvation.

The leadership of my church continually preached that it was our duty to be long suffering and steadfast in our devotion to the church in supporting it financially. There were repeated appeals for monetary support in order to preach the gospel. Obeying the authority of the church was paramount and many sermons were given to us on submitting to the authority of the church in order for the work to go forward so that we all could usher in the kingdom of God and rule with Jesus Christ. My church told us it was our duty. We were told we would not suffer more than we could take if we truly followed the churches laws. We were told God didnt call many so we had better be steadfast and do everything we could to assure ourselves a place in Gods kingdom.

Red flag warning #2

A good religious organization works for the common good of its members and its community.

My church disassociated itself with the rest of the world. My church preached that members, being merely human, were detestable in the eyes of God. My church put everyone outside its church community into the controls of Satan. There fore considering anyone not baptised pagan, evil, and unclean. Although my church collected a third tithe for widows and orphans, I am unaware of any that benifitted from it. There was not a lot of giving back to the congregation. I remember one family that filed for bankruptcy and was reprimanded by the church for not working hard enough. We were required to support the church first, our families second, and disassociate from our communities.

Red flag warning #3

A good religious organization does not control your personal space as terms of salvation nor degrade and humiliate you.

My church told women they must wear dresses and men suits. Women should have long hair and men very short hair. Women could not perm or dye their hair nor wear make up. Disobeying meant being shamed, guilted, or being put out of the church. My church continually preached that being human meant we were depraved. Cast out from the prescence of God and lowly. That we were lucky to be in the church to have a chance of salvation but that salvation depended on adhereing to the strict old testament laws of the church and obeying the church leadership.

My whole blog was designed to help others recognize the red flags about their organizations so they dont get hurt the way I did. I will continue to post about my experience in The Worldwide Church of God because there are many splitoffs of that organization still out there, as well as other destructive groups. Religion is a freedom given to us in this country . But it is also a safe haven for con-men who can bilk members of money easily and not face prosecution for their crimes. I dont trust that any other man can assure me of my salvation. Do you?

Up close and personal conclusion...

2005-05-09T04:54:00.000-07:00

Growing up in The Worldwide Church of God impacted my adult life in ways I wish I could go back and change. I wish I could relive all the lost years but that will never happen. I can only do something now and that is why I speak out. I dont want others to lose their potential to really give of themselves as opposed to being taken advantage of by other people in the name of religion. If I were to sum up my best advice concerning this whole ordeal it would be that no other human being has the right to tell you what salvation God has for you and what your relationship with Him is.

I believed The Worldwide Church of God leaders. I believed that they were my closest link to knowing and being accepted by God and when I left the church I was afraid I would suffer horribly for my mistakes. I felt like I had an eternal death sentence over my head. I felt this way because this is what they taught me. I started living my life like my life didnt matter because at that point I felt rejected by my mother, my church, and my church society. I didnt care what happened to me because I would never be worthy or able to be accepted by the most important people in my life. My life spiraled out of control. I got into a bad marriage to ease my conscience over past sexual sins. I still tried to make good of the bad in my life but it all seemed to get worse. By the time my first child was born I realized I needed to do something if not for myself than for my child. My childs father was violent and I knew none of us deserved to live the lives we were living. When the divorce went through a nasty custody battle I fought hard to just keep up the will to survive.

I had finally gotten to the point of my lowest lows. I think, at that point, if I hadnt of had a child that depended on me I wouldnt be here today. But I did hang on and eventually someone came along that grew to love and care for me genuinely and is with me today through all of this. I began to rebuild my life. I was starting to enjoy my life and thought I had everything I could possibly want. But still something felt so wrong. I still had this imposing feeling that I wanted to die. I couldnt understand my despair. Where was it coming from when I felt like everything else was so right in my life?

Then 911 happened and I became utterly petrified. What if this was the start of the tribulation the church had talked about? I was literally sick and terrified that now my children were going to be tortured because of my sins. I couldnt sleep because of the nightmares. I went desperately searching for my old church ties but they were gone. Finally through the internet I found old church members . But the ones I found were talking of other things. They were talking of a cult with deceptive leaders and they were talking about the church I was raised in. Suddenly my eyes were opened. My memories were opened up like big gaping bleeding wounds and I read stories of other kids that grew up hurting and feeling the things I felt. I poured over the stories crying because these too were the stories of my life, my fears, and my pain. I wasnt alone and I wasnt rejected anymore.

Im living a good life now. The past is gone forever, I cant get it back but I can speak out about what I went through and hope that it makes a difference. I am angry that others taught me that God was an angry vengeful God. I am angry that The Worldwide Church of God made me believe that I would not get to have a life because the world was going to end and I was unworthy. I think it was wrong for them to take away my joy for living. I dont know why we are here but Im going to take the chance that God put me here to live this life not to wish it away on another world or to rush through it to get it over with. But to gain something from being here, and living, and experiencing. And giving something back.

Up close and personal part 3

2005-05-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What a moronic question this turned out to be when I was graduating highschool. By the time I was 17 and 18 I was well entrenched in the religion of The Worldwide Church of God. I was on the brink of adulthood. I never pursued college actively because I never thought it would happen. The Worldwide Church of God had taught me that the world would end soon. I clung desperately to wanting to live my own life but I remember rationalizing with a friend at that time that if I really believed God was real, didnt I have to believe what the church taught me? After all, they continually said they were the one true church and we were the select few chosen by God to represent him in a new soon coming world. I was at a tug of war within myself. The pressure was on to be baptised as I was nearing 18. I had started working when I was 16 and was already contributing and tithing up to 30 percent of my income to the church voluntarily because I wanted to do the right thing. But the pull to live in the real world started to win out.

Dating and even friendship in the church was difficult. There was so much space between all the members and we were scattered across the state. I never found anyone I was interested in dating in my own congregation but did eventually in a congregation almost 300 miles away. According to the church a womans place was beside a husband raising a family. As I leaned more to having a work life and attending some college classes that I paid for myself the church member I was dating became resentful and accusatory. I distanced myself from him and began dating someone I had met through work who didnt understand my religion but accepted me regardless. We dated continually while I still attended church and tried to do the right thing but some of the other church members my age were becoming aware that I was more involved with an outsider. Rumours began to fly. Suddenly I was the whore of Babylon, sleeping around, even when I had never before had sexual intercourse. I felt betrayed. Ashamed. Marked like in the novel Scarlet Letter. I started to skip services and the letters started to come. The guy in the church I had dated informed me I was in danger of losing my salvation. That I was going to suffer in the tribulation if I didnt come back. Everyone in the church was sure I was going to lose my eternal life in the lake of fire. I went back and forth trying to please everyone and in great turmoil. Why was it so wrong to just want to live a normal life? Why did God create us and want us to suffer? I couldnt keep it up. I was afraid of being tortured if the tribulation were to come. I wanted to be loved by someone. I didnt want to hurt for just having human emotions anymore. Following the old testament legalism of the church meant that just being and living was wrong at times.

I finally just packed it in and gave up. I couldnt keep up the Worldwide Church of God lifestyle. God was going to take me one way or another. I accepted that I was depraved and a disappointment to the church, to life, and my mother. My mother was beside herself. She hated my "worldly" boyfriend. He did end up being a shmuck but the relationship didnt stand a chance with all the crap going on inside my head concerning the church. I didnt know how to have normal relationships. When my mother found out we did eventually sleep together she told me she was sorry I was born. I suddenly had made all the bad things in my life come true. I was unwanted and unloved by God, my mother and society. I just wanted to die and eventually as the years progressed did attempt suicide. The culmination of all the events in my life......the early molestation, the repeated warped armageddon lessons and Worldwide Church of God teachings I grew up on, the disappointment and shame my mother had for me, left me shattered. How could I face life with any sort of hope?

But I did find hope. Some 20 years later. When I realized how the Worldwide Church of God spiritually abused its members. Conclusion coming soon.

Up close and personal continued...

2005-05-03T05:17:00.000-07:00

People dont understand how other people get taken in by cults. They think they must be dumb, or losers, or weak. That is why I write this from my personal experience. I want them to know how the manipulation works. I want them to know that when someone, like me, is raised hearing the things I heard, learning the things I learned that their lives are shaped by what they hear and what they learn.

As I grew up my life was shaped by The Worldwide Church of God. Earlier I discussed what my life was like from about 5 years old to 10. But as I entered the preteens things took a different turn. It became an awkward time. I didnt fit in with normal school kids because of my religion and gawkiness in general. "Worldly" kids questioned my religion. When I was smaller and eager to please I would give people a mini religious lesson on why I didnt celebrate Christmas or why I kept Saturday as a sabbath. But as a preteen I was embarrassed and teased by the other kids. I retreated into the solitude of my room and stayed there for hours at a time. The church continually preached that the end of the world was near and that we had to prepare ourselves. "To watch always" so that we wouldnt get left behind in the tribulation. During those hours of solitude I often daydreamed about having a life. Growing up, traveling, marrying, living in my own house. I didnt know if I ever would really grow up before the tribulation and so I would spend all day just trying to imagine what growing up would be like. I cried because I was afraid of dying. I felt unworthy and sinful because of the past abuse. My mother finally noticed that I spent all my time in my room and decided I needed piano lessons to keep me busy. I then would daydream of becoming a famous muscian because I knew in my reality that would never happen.

By the time I entered my teens I sought the companionship of the other kids in the Worldwide Church of God. Scince I didnt fit in at school I wanted to fit in somewhere and so I started to concentrate on the church. Suddenly I found favor with my mother and peers. It became important to be churchly. I studied the bible fervently and started taking notes during the sermons. The ministers had an aura about them. I tried not to be noticed by the ministers. They were stern and authoritarian and beyond rebuke. I tired hard to be perfect. And perfect meant following the laws and doctrines of the church completely. We heard 2 hour sermons about many things. Avoiding the appearance of evil. Seperating ourselves from unbelievers. Not thinking lustfully. Not saying darn or jimeny crickets because those were just replacements for saying damn and Jesus Christ. Not questioning authority. Sacrificing and long suffering because in the long run it brought us closer to God. Preparing for the world tomorrow and escaping to Petra the supposed place of safety for Gods chosen members. All the things the world would suffer for its sins. Sometimes I spent more time on all the things the Worldwide Church of God taught than school work.

By the time I was 17 other parents in the church had told me they wanted the other children to spend time with me because I was such a good example. In fact such a good darn church goer that the congregation took up a collection to send me out of state to the summer camp run by the church. My mother cried she was so proud. Thats the only time I remember my mother crying because she was proud and pleased with me. The only other time I made her cry was in disappointment and she has been displeased and disappointed ever scince. That happened once I left the church.

Up close and personal

2005-04-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

I write this blog from my personal experience because I want the reader to understand how the Worldwide Church of God impacted my life. It was devastating for me to realize everything that I was taught about religion wasnt necessarily the truth. Especially so because I built my life around the belief that it was so. I will be 41 soon and it is only over the past few years that I have finally felt like I have found myself and lived my life with true meaning.

I come from lower middle class. My father based his income off the land. Farming, hunting, and fishing. My mother stayed at home and only worked through our church years. (I believe this was so she could tithe to the church as my dad was not a church goer and would not give my mother access to finances.) My father worked hard and let my mother handle household things which included for the most part raising me the daughter. My mother came from very strict Baptist parents. Some of my mothers ancestors were ministers and the family originally from Europe. My mother swears even to this day, with much pride, that there is Jewish blood in her line and so this leads me to believe that she still believes in the British Israelism ties the Worldwide Church of God taught.

It is ironic that my mother left her Baptist church after accusing the preacher of stealing money. I remember I was very young, around 5ish, when my mother began attending the Worldwide Church of God. I started learning from that day on how important religion was to my mother. Saturday sabbath keeping became very important. Pork and seafood were banned from the house. We read grocery labels so we wouldnt accidently get lard in our food. We were taken out of school to keep old testament holy days and also to keep from attending traditional Christian holidays. We stopped celebrating birthdays. I was told not to talk to anyone concerning our home life and especially not to my grandparents who strongly opposed my mothers views. My mother studied in her room for hours at a time. I spent a lot of time by myself, wandering the woods behind the house or in my room. I did occasionally play with neighbor kids but never participated in group activities with them. I was eager and longing to play with other kids. I would make up invitations to their houses and my mother would not check into those invitations very thoroughly. I think she was so emeshed in religious turmoil it was good to have me out of her hair.

I think this was where things first became difficult for me. I think about how it would have been if my mother were truly interested in me as a daughter and not so withdrawn inside herself considering religion. I dont speak of it often but I was molested as a child by older brothers of a neighbor child and in several instances by an uncle who continually exposed himself to me. The one childs parents were never home when I visited and I feel if my mother had checked into that she would have known. She never seemed too curious that I stoppped wanting to visit. The uncle lived next door to us along with other family members. My mother just assumed I was safer there I guess. But the result of this was the beginning of the shame and guilt I felt over sex and by religious standards how unclean I was. I remember learning about venereal diseases as a preteen and being terrified that I was going to die. My mother never discussed sex with me as a child or preteen. What I learned was from health class at school or in the sermons of the Worldwide Church of God.

I remember all too well a sermon I heard as a young teen. The minister told a story about a worldly girl who went to a party, dressed slutty and drank too much. She ended up being gang raped and choking on her own vomit. The minister went into detail about how all the alcohol was pushed back up her esophogus by the force of the rape. This is such an example of what we had to listen to as children. I was a young teen then but there were children of all ages listening. The moral of the sermon was that girls who acted worldly or hung out with the wrong crowds would die violently.

I remember that sermon I think especially because of my guilt. People had touched me inappropriately and I was unclean. Although I was techinically a virgin I had fornicated. And that was a sin. And sin was punishable by death. It didnt matter that I was just a child when it happened and it was not my fault. I still felt dirty and ashamed. Confiding in my mother about any of it was not an option. I thought I would be punished.

It is through my experiences I tell my children over and over that they should come to talk to me no matter what for any reason. I will never punish them for telling me the truth. I am on their side first and foremost. My oldest daughter recently lied to me. I knew she was lying and responded in a manner where she had to either be found out by her schoolmates or admit to me she was lying. I told her again that she could talk to me about anything and she finally admitted to me in a burst of tears that she had been lying. We then went on to work together to solve her problem, my daughter continually hugged me through the process, and I think we both benifitted. How I wish I could have talked to my mother. But she was beyond approaching. Our relationship was based on my being the good daughter and with that came being a good member of The Worldwide Church of God.

People raised with no religion

2005-04-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get pre-occupied comparing people I know. Some are avid Christian church goers. Some like myself, were raised in cults or non-Christian sects. Some were raised with no religion at all. What makes the difference between a person with good values and a person with bad values? Does religion play that strong a factor in making us who we are or are we capable of knowing what is good and bad without that influence?

I recently attended the wedding of a good friends daughter. I have watched this young girl grow from a child into a 21 year old adult. Her family did not go to church. I guess you could call them passive Christians. If it came down to it maybe they would label themselves Baptists but they really didnt practice any religion whatsoever and didnt own a bible. The children never had any bible instruction. I marvel at what a geniune, sincere, respectful adult she has become. Giving and caring. Hardworking. I cant imagine her ever causing harm to another. I know her parents have loved her fiercly and stood by her through out her growing years with encouragement and family support.

My grandparents were devout Christians. Non-drinking. Regulars in their church which they attended twice a week. They constantly volunteered and helped others in need. My grandfather read the bible everyday. They were good people. They would never harm another. It always bothered me that the Worldwide Church of God preached that people like my grandparents would suffer in the tribulation for celebrating pagan holidays. I knew my grandparents were good people. They didnt deserve to suffer.

My friends daughter and my grandparents had different beliefs and yet they, in my opinion, are good decent people. They arent murderers, liars, cheaters, haters, or any other horrible things. They're just people. I was raised totally differently. I was raised to believe that anyone that didnt belong to the Worldwide Church of God was a gentile or unholy and unworthy of being one of Gods chosen people. And if you werent qualified to be a member of Gods chosen church you would suffer as non-believers should. The WWCG believed I shouldnt associate with people like my friends daughter or my grandparents because they are not Gods people. This in itself is a tragedy.

I no longer belong to the Worldwide Church of God.

I believe there is a God and he created ALL of us for a some yet unexplained reason. The capacity for good and bad is there for all of us. I think when we are surrounded by genuine, unconditional love we thrive better than when surrounded by hate and discontent. Maybe it is the teacher that is the key. Are the people that are teaching us morals doing it for the good of the student or to serve themselves? My life was in despair until I came to the realization that the things I learned were taught to me by people who didnt have my best interests in mind. They twisted religion to suit themselves. I think I am a much better person now that I have left that religion behind. Now I can find good in all different kinds of people and try to encourage others to find it too. Anyone can do that. With or without religion.

Petition to Congress

2005-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

I have a friend whose family has suffered abuse by the hands of Jehovahs Witnesses and whose abusers were protected by that church. Her organization is doing a lot to promote awareness of spiritual abuse and is a worthy cause. She sent me some information concerning one congressman, Stephen F. Lynch who they hope will help them. There will be a meeting Monday May 9th at 10:00am in Boston to discuss the issuses of sexual abuse and abuse in churches and what can be done about it.

For more information see this link:

info@silentlambs.org

There is also an online petition to congress which can be signed:

http://www.amatteroftruth.org

Abusive spiritual groups practice control of their members and protect their leadership for their own gain. Abusive leaders should be held accountable for their actions. A good leader gives of himself and his organization and doesnt bring harm to his own members.

Can I find faith after being raised in Herbert W. Armstrongs church?

2005-04-20T04:58:00.000-07:00

I was raised as a child in the Worldwide Church of God and left in the mid 80's before any of the changes that later took place after the death of Herbert Armstrong. When I left the church I had just about given up. I couldnt progress in life without feeling that all was meaningless. I would never measure up to the churches rigid old testament standards without feeling pathetically outcast and inadequate. I never felt I would get to really live my life without being persecuted and rejected by God. I chose to go on with my life the best way I knew how at that point, however, and practiced no religion.

But almost 20 years later when 911 happened, I became scared. What if this was the beginning of the tribulation the church had warned us about. I wondered if now my children would suffer in the tribulation because I had sinned and left the church. I became distraught and started searching to renew my church ties. But where was the church? My local congregation was gone, all moving on to main stream churches after the newly appointed pastor generals doctrines shifted towards main stream Christianity. My mother, the one who had gotten us into the church in the first place, now went to a Sunday church. I was angry with her explanations. After years of enduring guilt and shame from her for not toeing the church line, now she didnt believe their original doctrines anymore. I was raised to believe their doctrines meant my life or death.

It is ironic through all the time that I was trying to renew my church ties that I had been praying for God to show me the truth. What was the truth about the Worldwide Church of God? The irony came when I stumbled on The Painful Truth and Ambassador Watch web sites and learned about the deceitfulness of the original Worldwide Church of God. The storys there opened my eyes and I do believe I finally found truth and reality.

But where do I go from there? The WWCG debunked everything I knew about modern Christianity. I cant sit in a mainstream church without thinking about the hypocrisy of people and religion in general. I truly feel there must be a God but as far as religion goes, sometimes I feel no one really has the true answers. Some are guessing, some are presuming, some are taking advantage of people for their own gain. I wish I could belong to a church again but that experience has devastated me. I have faith in God. Thats the best I can do right now.

Respecting Authority versus Good Values

2005-04-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

I left the Worldwide Church of God in my early twenties, as a young adult. So I guess my version of the church is from the childs eye view. I have children of my own now so I am often pondering how to teach my children in the best way possible so that they have happy successful lives.

When I was a child, in the church and my home life, there was a big emphasis placed on respecting authority and respecting adults. You did not question adults in the church. It wasnt done. And the members of the ministry were beyond approach. Their word was law if you were to be a part of the kingdom of God and chosen to go to the place of safety to escape the soon coming tribulation. Sermons with repeated euphemisms were common. "There is a way that may be seem right to a man but there in lies death." Translated meaning: if you arent toeing the line you will suffer. "Many are called but few are chosen." The ministry had many select bible quotes to keep the members afraid of losing their salvation. Being a member meant giving till it hurt, complying with all the strict laws, offerings, and holy days, and long suffering.

But I often wonder about what the church did for the good and benefit of its members. I try hard to remember a feeling of a community that was doiing good deeds and its a hard stretch. The church was definately not a community that helped others outside the church at all. I remember selling doughnuts for our youth group but that went back into church expenses to my knowledge. But there was no emphasis in our church to better our community at all inside or outside the organization. We were preparing for another world and suppose to forsake the world we were in because it belonged to and was ruled by satan.

In todays world, I find I do try to teach my children to respect authority but with that comes another lesson. Not everyone in authority is honest and decent. There ARE those that take advantage of others with their positions. Be it a predator in a fake policemans uniform or a televangilist scavaging for donations. I want my children to look for the good in people. Does this person in authority give of their time and effort? Are they making a credible difference in someones life regardless of race, religion, and background. Is their help unconditional? Does the person expect things in return or are they truly giving of themselves? I hope my children learn to be givers. I hope they learn that a community that helps its members is better than one that persecutes its members when they make human mistakes.

I have respect for the "givers" in this life. We are all in the human race. I call no man God. Maybe if people stopped trying to play God the world would be a better respectful place.

Being single and dating in the WWCG.

2005-04-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

There was quite a bit of hypocrisy about dating in the church and its attitude towards women. I found out that what was ok for the guys wasnt always the same for the girls. It was difficult. Your dating options in the church were limited especially so because the members were literally scattered across the state. Sometimes your options were narrowed down to those within a certain radius also which made it even more difficult. But the church honed in on not wanting its members to date outside the church. I remember sermons upon sermons about not being uneuqally yoked with outside members, coming out of the world, and seperating myself from unbelievers. But this didnt hold true when it came to all of the teenage boys.

It seemed that girls were supposed to reserve themselves exclusively for the boys. My mother allowed me to date outside the church which was surprising but as I matured closer to 18 the pressure to become baptised and adhere to the strict policies of the church became enormous. I didnt let the other kids know I sometimes dated outside the church. Once I was caught out on a date with a "gentile" by some of the other kids and the shame and the guilt I felt left me feeling so pathetic. But the stigma of outside dating was different for the boys. Two of the popular boys brought girls in from outside the church and not much was said. But as a girl in the church I wouldnt have dreamed of the humiliation I would feel if I brought one of my dates in. We just werent supposed to do that.

Even more humiliating was the fact that boys in the church thought they deserved pure, devoted virgins. I was totally mortified when one prospective dater told me it was his right to know if I was a virgin or not. What could be more embarrassing to a virgin than that? To be questioned about your non-existant sex life by a prospective sexual partner? And to be told it was their right to know?

I left the church in my early twenties. Part of it was the dating issues. I was scorned and humiliated in a great part because of rumours created by another person I had a disagreement with and the fact that I didnt want a future with someone I was dating in the church. That person went on to Ambassador College and I believe is still a part of WCG today. He wrote me scathing letters when I left assuring me I would suffer in the tribulation because of it. In a way, I think he is the one that is suffering.

What can we do about abusive spiritual groups?

2005-04-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

I just recently corresponded with a woman I met who is a former member of Jehovahs Witnesses. She told me that there was a march on Washington this past week by her group of former members as well as ex-members of other abusive groups to raise awareness of the damage some of these organizations have on people. She says they go to Washington DC every year. Darn. I wish I had known!

There is much help over the web. The group I belonged to was obscure but Ive been able to join in with some former members to find comfort and support. But upon searching my local area Ive been unable to find any help groups or even for that matter anyone in any profession that understands how real and harmful being in some of these spiritual abusive groups can be. Surely there is a need? Sometimes I feel this all comes down to that fine line of freedom of speech and the people who take advantage of others in the name of religion. No one wants to trample on or edge their toe over that line. Is it taking a tiger by the tail to want some type of regulation of these groups? If we are trampling on free speech and stepping on the rights of individuals as promised in the constitution by regulating these groups than what else can we do? How can we better the lives of those damaged by these groups and what can we do to make sure this doesnt happen to others? I guess we just have to exercise that freedom of speech for now. I wish there was more. I hope someone hears me.

Why do we let others control us in the name of religion?

2005-04-12T05:15:00.000-07:00

I dont know if this is a question that can be answered. I feel that I was raised in a destructive church that had a huge impact on the course of my life. In a way I feel I didnt have a choice of my belief system because this is what I was taught by my mother and her choice of churches. And her choice of churches was a destructive cultic one. But why did my mother allow this belief system to control her life? Why did the others in the Worldwide Church of God allow the leadership to have such control of their lifestyles? (Even to the point of making marriage, business, and life choices for them?) Are people without any religious instruction at all evil people?

For the most part of my life I have lived feeling that life was worthless. That I was a bad person for forsaking the religion I was raised in and that I would be denied eternal salvation because of it. When I type this it seems extreme but in reality I did base a lot of my life choices on those feelings. And this was just the remanants of what I learned while in the church. But what about the people still in these destructive churches? Or other religions for that matter? What are we needing so badly that we allow others to dictate our lives?

For me I feel that it must be needing to belong. To feel wanted and loved for who we are. For the hope that there is meaning to all of this life. But do we find that when others dictate to us or do we find that inside ourselves and our own personal relationships with others and with God?

I think what bothered me most about belonging to a destructive organization was that they believed they were the only chosen few and that everyone else was evil. This bothered me because I knew there were genuinely good people that were not in my church. There are examples of people that do good all over the world. Why do some feel people that others who dont have a church affiliation are evil? And cant good come from inside us as opposed to what other people dictate to us? Sometimes I feel just as much harm and evil comes from religious groups as to those from outside religious groups.

The best I can hope for is that Im working towards the good and I live a fulfilling life. I give thanks to God as I know him but other than that I have to admit I just dont know the answers. I dont think anyone else has the answers either. We all just have our opinions and what we were taught as kids.

How the Worldwide Church of God stole my childhood.

2005-04-11T04:39:00.000-07:00

In talking with others raised in the WWCG, Ive noticed a common thread with survivors is that many feel such regret for the years taken by the church. I know in a sense I do feel they took my childhood. Not just the childhood but my innocence and joy of childhood.

As a youth in the church I did look forward to my friends. And we did have some fun experiences many of which were just our time spent together as opposed to in church activities. We were all in the same boat, just trying to be kids in the middle of our parents religious ideals. But it wasnt the fun activities, the friends, or the good times that have stuck with me. Those are in the past. What has stuck with me is the lessons ingrained in my head. The words I heard for the years and years of my childhood. Even as children once we were able to read and write we were encouraged to study and keep notes during the church services. I think this might be bizarre to outsiders but church members kept literally detailed almost word for word notes on the 2 hour long services. How many 16 year olds do you know that have a library of church stenos and a personally color coded bible? (Green for holy day scriptures, Orange for Law scriptures. etc.) The WWCG was really big on the Law scriptures.

But through all the studying and sermons the WWCG version of God sunk in. To the WWCG keeping the law was what assured you a place in the church. Slightest transgressions were noticed and counted amoung the congregation. Even the slightest appearance of doing something wrong got tongues wagging. We were constantly reminded to be steadfast in devotion and law in order to be chosen.

So how did the church steal my childhood? In my thoughts. In my hopes. In my dreams. I have never expected to live my life to the fullest because the church preached the end of the world would be in "the next few years." They seperated me from the love of my unbelieving grandparents who moved away after not being able to convince my mother the church was harmful. They made me believe that God was the type of God who would torture my loving grandparents as non-believers. They took my confidence that I could accomplish something meaningful with my life because we were not to appear worldly or pursue worldly things. They took my mother because she chose the church over family. They zapped my hope and they zapped my joy for living in the lessons they taught me about their version of God.

I cant get my childhood back but I often joke with others that my childhood started at 40. Thats when I realized the church took those years but they dont have the rest of them. I can make the most of what I have left. I intend to do so.

The Living Church of God and Despair

2005-04-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

I havent yet discussed the Living Church of God massacre because I started this blog after the tragedy in Wisconsin. But this blog was a direct result of that event. There is a fine line between a persons right to worship the way they choose and the abuse they suffer at the hands of those who would take advantage of them for their beliefs. I lot has been said about Terry Ratzman. Why didnt he just quit the church? Why didnt he just walk away if the church wasnt right for him? How could the church control him to the point of murder and suicide?

How could the church control him to the point of murder suicide?

The end result is we are all responsible for ourselves. Terry Ratzman was a murderer. He could have walked away but he didnt. Something drove him to the brink of no hope, despair, and anger. This in point, is what my blog is all about. I do think the Worldwide Church of God (and its offshoots), from my personal experience, contributed. I think in some ways I can understand Terry Ratzmans despair. I felt that despair myself. I felt like I had a death sentence hanging over my head when I left the church. From the time I was a very young child I was taught that the consequences of not believing the Worldwide Church of Gods beliefs was a death sentence. Not only in physical body but the eternal soul.

The WWCG taught me that my present day life was fruitless. That the things that I wanted in this life were nothing compared to the future kingdom of God. That basically this physical life was meaningless. How was I suppose to feel? Our job was to hurry up and prepare for another world and not care about the people left behind. I firmly believe that Terry Ratzman felt no hope.

But I was able to find hope. With help and with yearning in my heart that there is something better than the church of Gods version of God. I dont think the leadership of the Worldwide Church of God and its offshoots know true compassion and joy. That would interfere with business. This is evident in much of the silence surrounding these offshoots and the Terry Ratzmann murders.

The Worldwide Church View of the Pope

2005-04-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

Scince the passing of Pope John Paul, I was thinking about all the crap the Worldwide Church of God use to preach about the Pope and his part in the supposed coming apocolypse. The Church practiced British Israelism. Meaning they thought they were descendants of the two lost tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh and therefore the chosen of God in modern day America and Britain. If the apocolypse were to come, the WWCG had to find an antichrist that opposed America and Britain. The speculation was rampant. The WWCG believed that a United Europe would be what triggered the end of time. The next Holy Roman Empire to destroy the world. But who would unite Europe and usher in the apocolypse? The Pope? I sat through many sermons as kid based on just this exact speculation. I remember when the first John Paul died so quickly. I was just a kid but the church was all excited and speculating that he died so quickly because the next pope was really the one who was going to start the apocolypse. How sick!!!I bet all the remnants of the WWCG are in a tizzy about who the next pope is going to be right now.

Why did the WWCG cling to Europe as the next Holy Roman Empire? What could be scarier to the congregation? Another Holocaust where Gods chosen are persecuted? How many times did the pastors mention how threatening a United Europe would be to the United States? They wanted us to fear. They wanted us to associate the Holocaust with the apocolypse. They wanted us to tremble in fear and speculation so that we would follow them without question in order to earn salvation and safety from the coming end times. They wanted to control us so that we would be more than willing to reach in our pockets to support the WWCG.

Being a leader means caring about the people you are leading. To the point of sacrifice to your self. The leadership of WWCG cared about self. Their selves. When it came to the suffering of its congregation there was no compassion. There is hope and joy for life but its hard to find it in the WWCG and its many offshoots.

Cultish expectations

2005-04-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

One of the things that is probably most bizarre to the average person is the humungous guilt and shame we former church members had over the weirdest things. Like actually missing a day at church or getting a shrimp in a salad unexpectedly. While members we were consumed with the fear of not adhereing to the strict dietary and religious laws. It was drilled into us how unworthy we would be if we didnt give 100 percent, faithfully to our religion.

Normal people get up and decide yes or no that they want to go to church on a given day. No big deal. But as a faithful wwcg member, I know the looks you would get if you miss one, just one Saturday at church. The sneerful, aha, you must be falling away, where have you been look. The...are you really worthy to be a member...look. If you missed more than one Saturday...the calls would come. "We're worried about you, when are you coming back to church. Whats going on with you." For me, after I missed more than a couple, I was told I couldnt come back to church until I counciled with the ministers about what I had been up to. Then came the...."You're making a mistake with your life" and "Is leaving the church worth your salvation?" Eternal Condemnation no matter what the cause. I remember well before I left the church the discust and scorn some would have for those that "fell away". Tsk, tsk.

And what about the feeling you would get if you accidently got a shrimp in your salad. Like you would instantly have to start hurling but not want anyone else to know. Pretending that you couldnt eat anymore and not wanting anyone to look at your salad too closely. Then praying to God that he forgave you scince you really didnt know there was a shrimp there. How pathetic. And how sad. Im so glad I dont live like that anymore.

Am I a bitter ex-church member?

2005-03-31T05:01:00.000-08:00

Ive noticed that alot of ex members that speak out about their experiences with The Worldwide Church of God are often labled bitter and angry. You will see a lot of posts on the web from people saying "Get over it." Ive wondered if people would view me as bitter and angry? That is not how I feel. If I were to describe how I feel it would have to be the happiest Ive been in my lifetime. I am finally content with my life and I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and inner joy.

I think why we are labled bitter and angry sometimes is because we speak out. Sometimes quite loudly because we dont want others to hurt they way that we have been hurt. One of my dear friends that I went to church with had a little sister that committed suicide. That has haunted me. She was only in her early teens. I cant get her picture as a child out of my head because she was so sweet and innocent. Why did she feel she didnt have hope to live? How would her life have been different if she hadnt been raised in the church? Would she still be here?

If we believe in God and we believe he made us in his image, than wouldnt God feel the love and compassion we feel too for all people? Why didnt the church have more compassion? There is an arrogance there that I dont understand. Why cant the WWCG and its offshoots move mountains to show some compassion? Wouldnt that be Gods work?

The WWCG and its offshoots are destroying lives and families and I think thats something to be angry and bitter about. As a person, I am able to move on. I am able to be content and happy. But I am also able to speak out and hope that through speaking out maybe someone else wont commit suicide, or lose their families. If that lables me as being bitter and angry. So be it.

The Legacy of the Worldwide Church of God

2005-03-29T11:10:00.000-08:00

I was raised as a child in a little known church called The Worldwide Church of God. You probably havent heard of it. But the impact it has had on my life is profound and I hope by sharing what I experienced there as a child I can help others suffering from the fall-out or the legacy the church has left behind. I know it is hard for others outside of this religion, especially in mainstream religions, to understand how a church can have such control on ones feelings and actions. But one only need to look around in present day, or in the history books to see what some do in the name of religion to know it is possible to twist and frame minds. Some religions promote good and some just promote themselves. I believe the Worldwide Church of God and many of its offshoots do just that. They are promoting themselves and their lifestyles to the detriment of their members.

Everytime I try to explain how the church impacted my life, I find I start writing volumes. I have a lot to say about it so it is hard to condense. I do think there were some good people there. But the leadership was bad. I can still picture one particular minister screaming and banging from the pulpit all bright red in the face. And if I were to use one word to describe the legacy the church left me it would be fear. Children were not in classrooms during the service so as a child I sat through many services with the preacher banging on the pulpit, bright red in the face, telling us how we would suffer in the tribulation if we didnt strictly uphold the teachings of Gods one true church. We were made to fear. We were made to feel shame for not measuring up to the churchs' impeccable standards. No makeup. No pants for women. Strict attendance. Strict tithing. No associating or dating outside the church. When I left the church in my early 20's I had just given up. I never thought I would measure up to those standards. I had accepted the fact I would never be worthy of salvation if the Worldwide Church of God was in charge.

Through adulthood I lived with great anxiety. I had horrible nightmares where I suffered and people I loved suffered in the WWCG version of tribulation. Current events brought the nightmares on. It wasnt until I met other former members of the church on the ESN and Painful Truth websites that I realized the church caused a lot of those feelings. They shaped my childsized brain through fear and guilt and dehumanization. They made us afraid of wanting to live our lives our way. They wanted to control our lives so that we would blindly follow them and contribute to their lifestyles in monetary form and notarity. I think God put us here to gain something from living. I feel like the WWCG and its offshoots dont promote the joy of living life. They want us to hate this life. They want us to fear so that we will continue to fork over money to support them.

I have taken a look outside of the religion I was raised in and I find there are many more things to learn. Who is to say who is right and who is wrong? No one knows for sure. Especially not another man. I believe in God but I dont believe the Worldwide Church of God and its offshoots have the answers. They're just men too.