The Legacy of the Worldwide Church of God

What it was like growing up in a cult and its impact on my life and others like me.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Being single and dating in the WWCG.

There was quite a bit of hypocrisy about dating in the church and its attitude towards women. I found out that what was ok for the guys wasnt always the same for the girls. It was difficult. Your dating options in the church were limited especially so because the members were literally scattered across the state. Sometimes your options were narrowed down to those within a certain radius also which made it even more difficult. But the church honed in on not wanting its members to date outside the church. I remember sermons upon sermons about not being uneuqally yoked with outside members, coming out of the world, and seperating myself from unbelievers. But this didnt hold true when it came to all of the teenage boys.

It seemed that girls were supposed to reserve themselves exclusively for the boys. My mother allowed me to date outside the church which was surprising but as I matured closer to 18 the pressure to become baptised and adhere to the strict policies of the church became enormous. I didnt let the other kids know I sometimes dated outside the church. Once I was caught out on a date with a "gentile" by some of the other kids and the shame and the guilt I felt left me feeling so pathetic. But the stigma of outside dating was different for the boys. Two of the popular boys brought girls in from outside the church and not much was said. But as a girl in the church I wouldnt have dreamed of the humiliation I would feel if I brought one of my dates in. We just werent supposed to do that.

Even more humiliating was the fact that boys in the church thought they deserved pure, devoted virgins. I was totally mortified when one prospective dater told me it was his right to know if I was a virgin or not. What could be more embarrassing to a virgin than that? To be questioned about your non-existant sex life by a prospective sexual partner? And to be told it was their right to know?

I left the church in my early twenties. Part of it was the dating issues. I was scorned and humiliated in a great part because of rumours created by another person I had a disagreement with and the fact that I didnt want a future with someone I was dating in the church. That person went on to Ambassador College and I believe is still a part of WCG today. He wrote me scathing letters when I left assuring me I would suffer in the tribulation because of it. In a way, I think he is the one that is suffering.

1 Comments:

  • At 4:07 PM, Blogger Felix Taylor, Jr. said…

    It was a crazy dating scene in the
    WCG, no argument. What made it worse is when you have a deacon which I had to face, said, "Sex isn't supposed to be cracked up what it supposed to be." It seemed you had those so obsessed with singles being sexless and to shut up, suck it in and count their blessings. If I could only sock some of these controll freaks where it hurts!

     

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